RBOTD #197: SplatterBrains
Not a lot of either
https://www.metal-archives.com/band/view/id/3540265769
Country: United Kingdom
Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire, England
Genre: thrash metal
Formed in: 2006
Status: unknown
By the Numbers
SplatterBrains is the:
76th band formed in the 2000s
13th band from the United Kingdom
11th band with an unknown status
Its genre tags have been seen:
Thrash: 38 times
Member Connections
SplatterBrains is a bandalone.
Know 'Em?
Nope. I am now 10/197.
Sketch Check
Pass.
RateYourMusic Scores
SplatterBrains has not been rated.
Adjusted scores are calculated similarly to the Trad Belt scoring system. Please read that column for more information.
Trifecta Tracker
SplatterBrains has not achieved the trifecta.
A band can achieve the trifecta by titling a song after itself on a self-titled release. Iron Maiden's "Iron Maiden" on 1980's Iron Maiden is an example of the trifecta.
Hopefully, you have a lot of life left to live. I don't want you to burn it on this. Merciful spoiler incoming: The kicker to SplatterBrains's "StraightXhedge" is the lyric "put your fist in the air/ shrub free." That's it. That's the joke. It's a Throwdown parody. Right, a parody of a band that's…not…entirely serious itself. That's what we call "levels," my friend. I'd expect nothing less from some yuksters with a song titled "Ironic Sailing."
One of the great truisms in life is that you can crack good jokes in songs, but joke songs are rarely good. They also age horribly. Take our band here: SplatterBrains, a Leeds quartet formally known as Bean.1 It's tagged in Metallum as "thrash," which…yeahhh, I don't think so. Billy Milano fronting Death Threat is about as close as it gets to thrash. Anyway, hair-splitting aside, the gags are about what you'd expect for the period. "S.I.F." is a polemic examining the pressing MySpace concern of "secret internet fatties." You know, real bold stuff. I'm pretty sure that's a Phil Ochs cover. On the whole, it's sub-Shat open mic-level idiocy. Entirely forgettable and generally lacks the self-awareness of something like Shark Punch.
I always wonder what it's like when members of these bands grow up. Do they look back fondly? Do they go to the pub once a year and try to relive past glories? "Wow," former singer Foxy says to former guitarist Bonday, desperately trying to remember what they used to talk about. "Do you remember that tune 'Milk Piss'?" Bonday doesn't look up from their phone. The receptionist overbooked again. They'll need to head back to the shop soon. Their spouse texts: "can u pick up baby wipes, got called in again."
The only other thing worth discussing is that this is the first time post-RBOTD port that we've hit a band that doesn't have a discography:
This has happened a few times, and it confuses me more every time. This paucity of releases seems to violate the very rules of entry into the archives, and yet SplatterBrains' presence persists in Metallum. Hell, someone touched this page last year to make modifications…and yet…it's still there. I don't know. We can't get Today is the Day or Body Count into metal's archives, but this not-thrash band with a song titled "I Got Owned By a Morris Dancer" and…by all accounts…doesn't seem to have any actual releases gets to hang out in the database? Weird.
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Tell me Bean was working on a complex concept album based on the final episode of Blackadder.