Favorite 50 Plus a Few More: 2023 Edition Part 2
On track to finish sometime in 2026
"Artwork" by Wolf Rambatz. Original Butthole Chainsaw character design by Mike Teal
Hello. Welcome back to another year where I torture myself writing this stupid thing with minimal lead time.1
So, let's make a couple tweaks to ease the immense load on your least favorite lupine:
As demanded by the CDC, who will send me straight to jail if the eye-bleed levels of this newsletter exceed 100,000 words, I'm going to steal a page from The Devil's Mouth and split this ungodly sprawl into parts.
I'm going to outsource some aspects of this series to AI to see if the much-ballyhooed technological advancement can provide any support when it comes to covering heavy metal. I doubt it, but at least it probably won't write the word "ballyhooed," so how bad could it be, really?
In this edition:
In 1921, Hermann Rorschach penned Psychodiagnostik, a study of the Swiss psychoanalyst's patients that included an early version of an inkblot test that sought to probe the perception of its takers. One century later, Cosmic Hearse curator and Ludicra drummer Aesop Dekker used Rorschach-esque inkblots to interview metal bands in a short-lived series of posts. Seeing as I'm a remorseless hack and will never let a good idea go to waste especially if it is not mine, I'm resurrecting metal inkblots with a twist.
Using the band names and album titles as prompts, I generated inkblots with Bing's DALL·E 3-powered Image Creator. To help me interpret the results, I contacted Emily Frank, MSW, LCSW, because asking someone with a psychology background what they're feeling when they see inkblots is funny in the Alanis Morissette "Ironic" sense. You know, layers.
So Emily Frank, let's talk about Rorschach inkblots in the context of what I'm doing. To give you some background, I took the band name and the album title of 20 albums that are on my top 100 year-end list for 2023. I used the band name and album title as a prompt and ran them through Bing's Image Creator, which creates images generated by DALL·E 3. I'm going to show you these inkblots. We're going to talk about them. Then, I want you to guess what the band name and the album title might be. Sound good? I should also disclose that you're not my therapist unless you can tell me why all of these remind me of my mother.
I do think that that's probably a fairly normal response as long as it's not violent in some way.
[laughs] Sure.
But my favorite thing about Rorschach inkblots is that it is wildly subjective, and I think it'll be fun to explore what these images might bring up.
When you're using Rorschach stuff in a clinical setting, what is the point? Is it just to get the conversation flowing? Is it like the psychology version of an icebreaker?
I do think that's a really good way to think about it. So as a disclaimer, I don't actually use them in my practice or in my professional work, but I've learned about them through undergrad and grad school. Historically, it is used basically like that: You hold it up to a client, ask what sort of images come up, and then, based on that, you make assumptions about their subconscious.
Let's start making assumptions. I think you'll find right from the start that Bing has an interesting concept of what constitutes a Rorschach inkblot. Here we go.
80. Sick Sinus Syndrome - Swarming of Sickness (Obscene Productions)
From: Ostrava, Czechia
Genre: goregrind
The inkblot:
Analysis:
How does this make you feel?
I'm immediately concerned about my own psyche. I thought about Vikings, specifically this way of killing. I am reminded of my previous comment about violence being concerning.
Are we talking about the blood eagle?
Yeah, exactly, which in itself sounds like a metal name, but there's a smiley face in the middle of the inkblot.
Now, I might be exposing something of myself here, but if we take a look at this little guy in the skull's forehead here…is that a satyr goat man sitting on a toilet backward?
[pause] I see why you see that.
[laughs] Diplomatic answer.
It does seem demonic in its own way. There's definitely some demonic energy happening in this one.
Is this an omen? Should I leave my house right now? Is there somebody else here with us in the Zoom?
This image is making me feel that way.
So, based on everything you've seen, what do you think the band name and album title are that generated this inkblot?
It seems like it's too on the nose that it's some sort of tough metal name like Skull Crusher or something like that. But then I feel like the title of the album would be weirdly something like Rebirth, something that sounds positive.
What it actually is: Sick Sinus Syndrome is an all-star band, provided one considers veterans of Obscene Extreme festivals stars. That is to say, if you're prone to think about bands in the Czech Assault extended universe the same amount as baseball obsessives think about Jamie Moyer's curveball, the list of SSS's related entities is impressive: Malignant Tumor, Pathologist, Ahumado Granujo, Intervalle Bizzare, Death Karma, Heaving Earth, and Ingrowing, among many others. If that pedigree means nothing to you and looks more like the field of a cursed Kentucky Derby, here's a question to help determine Swarming of Sickness's enjoyability: Hey, do you like Carcass? This trio does a version of patho grind that's punkier than many practitioners, choosing a style that asks, What if Symphonies of Sickness were a secret d-beat record? It's plenty gooey, but the punky immediacy helps it pop.
79. Sea of Shit - Sea of Shit (Nerve Altar)
From: Chicago, IL
Genre: grind / powerviolence
The inkblot:
Analysis:
When you were studying Rorschach in school, how often were there multi-color inkblots? Traditionally, I thought they were primarily black and white.
Yeah, you're right. It seems too pretty for an inkblot. I think they are generally just black and white, but I think it's done with actual ink on paper, so it makes sense that AI could do more with that.
After working with AI extensively for this year-end project, I feel that AI is just a people-pleaser. It goes above and beyond trying to make things you'll like and is desperate about it.
It does seem like it's trying its hardest.
"Will you love this, Daddy? Please?"
"What about this way?"
Any output is based on the hard-coded prompt: "Are you mad at me?"
What do you see in this one?
I wanted to be honest because Rorschach is about first impressions. This was before you said something about "daddy" and "people-pleasing," but it does look vaguely sexual and vaginal in a way.
And then maybe it's because we're talking about music, but something in the middle almost looks like a guitar.
The thing that initially captured my attention was the mirrored Labradors trying to bite the black balls. I'm not crazy, right? There's something very doggish happening here? Very canine?
Yes, and apparently, animals are very commonly seen in Rorschachs.
Okay. Thank God. I'm trying to be very vulnerable right now.
It's important. Maybe that's the hidden power of the Rorschach.
So I don't want to lead you, but when you're guessing the band name and the album title, I would pay attention to this, uh, very interesting rusty brown color.
It does seem like a choice. The inkblot generator was like, "This color must be part of it." So it looks like burnt orange. But what's an autumnal kind of thing?
Pumpkin spice?
Exactly. But what's the antithesis of pumpkin spice?
The forbidden pumpkin spice?
Yeah, the unattainability of pumpkin spice.
I mean, that's a great album title in and of itself. Unattainability of Pumpkin Spice. We can work with that.
It really sums up the wistfulness of the end of the season.
So the band that generated this inkblot, and the reason I wanted to point you towards that brownish color, is named Sea of Shit.
[laughs]
What it actually is: In an, ahem, sea of powerviolence snoozers, Sea of Shit stands out. Formed during the second wave of powerviolence, alongside other non-meme-y bands that used the Slap-a-Ham/Deep Six days as a springboard, Sea of Shit released a series of ripping EPs before going on a break. "...this is where I jokingly like to say we stole half of Sick/Tired as Kirk Syrek (bass) and Adam Tomlinson (drums) finished out the lineup," singer Robert Komen said to No Echo. With the new members in tow, Sea of Shit released its first album, a 13-track self-titled smoker. This is full-power, grinding powerviolence in the same spirit as Iron Lung and No Faith, turning up the tumult and BPMs.
78. Rorcal - Silence (Hummus Records/Sludgelord Records)
From: Genève, Switzerland
Genre: black metal / doom / post-metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
I think this is getting closer to the actual inkblot ideal. Still very artistic.
It is. There's more happening in the corners. What is it called? Fleur-de-lis?
Yeah.
There's also peacocky, feathery things.
I was noticing the same. How does this one make you feel?
It seems playful compared to the others. I like that it's black and white; the contrast is visually appealing.
I got to ask, what's up with this little ghost dude?
Yeah. I wasn't sure how to pinpoint it, but it does have a Halloweeny vibe.
This is what you would see at a 19th-century séance. It's illuminated on the wall, and it's like, "Harold is here."
So again, based on what you see here, what is the band name and album title?
I feel like I'm not raunchy enough with my guesses.
I mean, we've had two bangers off the bat. They're not all going to be like that.
Let's see. I'm trying to think of some sort of party rave, but the metal version, like Mosh Dancer.
So, the inkblot is very interesting, but I don't think it fits the band name or the album title. The band is named Rorcal, and the album is titled Silence. I think silence would be a tough thing to depict in an inkblot.
Maybe that's why the ghosts were there.
You're legitimizing Bing. I won't stand for it.
What it actually is: Oh, to be crushed under the weight of heavy riffs. Rorcal, like its Swiss compatriots in Unfold and Vancouver, not to mention the related Impure Wilhelmina, plays a sort of sludge-buttressed fusion of many styles. Silence, for instance, layers on discordant black metal, death metal, and, to my old ear, Acme-esque metalcore. But all that stuff is like driftwood floating atop the crashing waves of post-metal sludge. (Remember when Cult of Luna sounded like this? Better days.) Seriously, audio engineers should study this album to understand its powerful sonic properties. As for the album title? Rorcal offers a fittingly misanthropic explanation: "...when the very idea of hope disappears, only silence remains." The Silence is truly deafening, I guess.
77. Pest Control - Don’t Test the Pest (Quality Control HQ)
From: Leeds, UK
Genre: thrash / crossover
The inkblot:
Analysis:
Here's our next one.
Ooh, creepy. This one is like a black widow spider. There are ants up there, too, it seems.
I thought this blot was the best of the bunch. Not to spoil what's ahead, but I thought this was the most interesting image created.
It is very interesting. Was there a particular aspect of it that caught your attention?
You'd definitely need to call pest control if this was what your house looked like. If you woke up in the middle of the night and this thing was standing over your bed, would you move immediately?
I feel like I would try to go back to sleep and just hope it was a dream. [laughs] It's interesting that it has this depth. It almost looks like a painting. There are paint splashes, but it's computer-generated. It's kind of cool.
This is another one where the image created fits the band name and album title but doesn't fit the band itself.
I'm thinking Creepy Crawley, but isn't that The Who's "Boris The Spider"?
What if it made my 2023 album list? We have a history.
I really should have looked up more metal band names.
No. That would drive you insane. You don't want to do that. To give you an example, I think the best slash worst metal band name I've ever come across is Misanthropical Pain Forest.
That also sounds like a drag name.
If Misanthropical Pain Forest had to lipsync for their lives, what song would they be doing?
"Fame."
Okay. I'm stalling while I'm trying to think of adjectives that this band name might include. Okay, so the image was…there was a lot happening. It was kind of like wilderness. Raucous Wilderness. And then, for the album title, I am thinking Dark and Stormy Night.
Raucous Wilderness - Dark and Stormy Night. This band is named Pest Control, and the album is Don't Test the Pest.
It wasn't that far off. [laughs]
What it actually is: Nowadays Détente is a pretty good pitch. Pest Control nails that sense of crossover chaos, like the band is only a gnarly speed wobble away from shucking its bolts. But there's also a sneering hardcore punkness to some of these chugs, the kind of thing you hear before getting punched in the face for standing too close to the pit. Keep your head on a swivel, in other words. Now, I'll allay your fears: The complete absence of any pizza in Pest Control's thrash is another solid selling point.
76. Helms Deep - Treacherous Ways (Nameless Grave Records)
From: Florida, USA
Genre: heavy metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
I think we're exhausting Bing's corpus of what constitutes an inkblot because this one looks very familiar.
We've circled back. There's a dark, demonic energy again.
I see bugs everywhere in these, so maybe that's a me problem. How does this one make you feel?
It's making me want to stretch.
If you opened a yoga studio and signaled the pose sequences by holding these inkblots up, how quickly would your yoga studio shut down?
I don't know. Some people like spooky vibes. Do an interpretive dance to this inkblot.
The thing I like about this one is the sneaky wizard on the side...or is it an iguana? I think that's an iguana.
I was really looking for the wizard, but I don't see it.
I mean, you could probably find a wizard in all of these, depending on what kind of medications you take beforehand.
There's a white shape in the middle. It almost looks like a mermaid.
Is it singing to us right now? Is it going to drag our boat to its doom? Is it a siren of the deep?
I'm not sure how to differentiate between a siren and a mermaid.
That's a good question. I don't either. Can we bring this up with an anthropologist in Atlantis or something? They would know.
It's a cultural difference that sirens lure men to their deaths.
Cultural difference. Actually, this is from the Siren Region of France.
If it's not from Siren...
If it's not from Siren, it's a mermaid. So, based off of this, what do you think the band name is?
I want it to be Dark Mermaid.
What it actually is: We need an oral history explaining how one of the best heavy metal records of 2023 contains Raven's John Gallagher and Mike Heller, the latter of which you probably know better for his battering blast beats in Malignancy. That's no shade to Raven. They haven't been slouching. The Heller era of the band has reinvigorated the athletic rockers by giving them a more pugnacious backbone. But Helms Deep just has that new-band spark. Vocalist Alex Sciortino sings and plays guitar with the experience of a thousand-band vet, effortlessly landing some heavy metal hooks into you. But, as far as I can tell, this outfit is numero uno for Sciortino. Anyway, Treacherous Ways sounds like it was hashed out in a garage neighboring early Savatage's home base. It adds that extra bit of oomph to US heavy metal. But, perhaps owing to Gallagher's presence, there's a good bit of NWOBHM in there, too.
75. Imperceptum - Chaos Pilgrimage (self-released)
From: Bremen, Germany
Genre: funeral doom
The inkblot:
Analysis:
A lot going on here.
A lot going on. This one's more spaced out than the other. There's more happening in that top quadrant but not the bottom. It also seems like there are eyes right in the middle — a demon king.
To me, this is a wolf and it's wearing a helmet made out of skull bones, and then there's this little demon guy that's crucified on his chin. I don't know what that's about.
It looks exactly like some sort of skull — a helmet but with antlers. As soon as you said the dog, it's like a Doberman looking right at you.
If this is our logo for a new NFL team, do we get away with it?
Yeah, maybe. There is a lot of skull imagery. I think it might scare people too much, but then maybe if you pretend it's for the Puppy Bowl.
That's a dark Puppy Bowl. Whatever team doesn't win, we're going to put them down.
At first blush, this looks evil and foreboding. But I have to say, it looks like the wolf is smizing, and then there's this guy up here with a goofy little smiley face.
Oh, it's like the kind Futurama. What's his name? The pink crustacean guy.
Oh, Zoidberg. So, what does this tell us about ourselves? That what we fear initially we shouldn't because there are two wolves inside you, and one of them is smizing?
The more I look at it, the more I see little animals. On the side, it looks like little shrimp.
Is this sneakily the most interesting one we've had so far?
I think it might be, which is, I don't know if I would've guessed that if you'd asked if we were looking at all of them together, but I can't stop looking at this one.
Do we have a coffee table book in the making?
I think so.
It'll be sold at the dark yoga studio we open.
Someone would be down. There's this oil slick in it; something about it seems combustible.
Oh, interesting. When it rains at a gas station.
Yeah. And Gas Station Rain sounds like a band name.
We're just killing it on the band names right now.
Which is good. I feel like we're back.
What it actually is: Have you ever looked up at the night sky and, while reveling in its infinite inky expanse, felt immensely small and insignificant? I'm pretty sure Imperceptum has. Void, this slow doomer's sole member, takes the existential interstellar travel of Darkspace and routes it through the pretty misery of a funereal frowner such as Esoteric. It's atmospheric because all metal is atmospheric, but Chaos Pilgrimage feels extra atmospheric. And its sadness subsumes your being in the same way peering at eons-old pinpricks of light shakes the foundation of your soul. It's astronomy for despondency, basically.
74. Cryptworm - Oozing Radioactive Vomition (Me Saco un Ojo Records/Extremely Rotten Productions/Pulverised Records)
From: Bristol, UK
Genre: death metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
This is what the underside of cars look like in the Northeast, I think. This is a rusty little guy.
Yeah. This has lots of little ghosties.
A lot of little faces in this one, for sure.
It's funny. Some of the images, I guess this one kind of has that too, but some parts are perfect edges, perfectly round shapes, but most of it is droopy. This one? It kind of seems like a pumpkin patch or something.
Halloweeny.
Yeah, definitely. Halloweeny. There's a bat shape in the middle, but in the white.
I see the bat. What catches my attention is this earthworm dude, who I guess is the earthworm pope.
I've never considered earthworms religious.
And what would the earthworm religion be?
When it rains, you go up.
I also see another Doberman on the side. I don't know why I'm seeing so many dogs.
Yeah.
Maybe I need to adopt a dog.
That would be a really good takeaway from this.
This guy up here looks like a Greek god. Maybe Zeus doing sock puppets.
He would.
I'm trying to see if there's anything else.
The white part, the whole shape of it, kind of looks like an elephant.
Interesting.
You know the "Heffalumps and Woozles"? I think that's from Dumbo.
I mean, you could definitely say this is the Hieronymus Bosch version of Dumbo.
The earthworms, the phrase that the early bird gets the worm. I don't know what kind of story you could have there.
Maybe it's because Zeus needs to make it rain to bring the earthworm pope to the surface.
To confront him. I like that there's some religious confrontation.
That's what I bring to the table. Religious confrontation. So, what do you think the band name is?
I don't know if this is more ska than metal, but I'm thinking trumpets.
[pause] OK.
I guess that would be more of the album title. The Trumpet Approach.
The Trumpet Approach. I was talking to somebody about a ska band named Mephiskapheles today. So, the mere mention of ska is spooky for someone who doesn't think about ska often.
Do you feel like that title is close?
No.
OK. Disgruntled Earthworms.
That's closer. This band is named Cryptworm, and the album is titled Oozing Radioactive Vomition.
How did I miss that?
I know. It was right there.
What it actually is: For those filth-ridden riff enthusiasts who like to make decay-smelling faces at loud noises, Cryptworm is here to show you what Demilich would've sounded like if it were Autopsy. Do you need more of a pitch for this trio than that? Didn't think so.
73. Nganga - Phthisis (self-released)
From: Raleigh, NC
Genre: black metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
If we printed this one on a shirt, it would be our bestseller.
Yeah. Interesting use of color.
Again, we're back with the butterfly or moth.
It's kind of like The Mothman.
You wouldn't show this as an actual inkblot, right? This would be hanging in a museum somewhere.
Yeah. I think it's giving more abstract art versus psychological test.
What are your takeaways? Like, we get it, Mothman. You vape.
This is your Mothman on weed.
It looks like a detailed insect, like someone put effort into it. It has the antenna and the little, I'm forgetting what the different parts of the bugs are, but I think it has everything.
I think that's actually the scientific name for most of the bug parts. It's just bug parts.
Yeah.
I don't think anyone will fact-check us on that one.
Someone might deeply fact-check that.
I mean, given my audience, yeah, that will probably take place. So, to all my friends in Germany out there, this is a joke. We're doing a bit. Don't worry about it.
I've heard metal fans are very kind.
I mean, my whole theory is that the people who really scare me are the finance bros who don't like art because where are they channeling all their energy?
That's a really good point.
And with metalheads, at least you have an outlet.
So I feel like it's like Mothman rising in the daytime sun, or I guess that is when the sun comes out. I was thinking high noon or something.
High noon. Very western.
Right? Yeah, that's what I was going for.
What it actually is: Nganga burst onto the black metal underground with 2022's De Muerte, a short and sweet burner my esteemed peer Jon Rosenthal described as miniature Weakling. A year and some change later, we have Phthisis, a five-song full-length demonstrating the quartet is just as good at stretching out. Nganga checks the box I need all black metal to check: It has riffs. But it also has a wild-eye frenzied quality, like something from a Strid scion with the BPMs dialed up. I recommend getting in on the ground floor now, but I'm pretty sure we'll hear a lot from this troop often in the coming years.
72. Radiation Blackbody - Dead Seed Planted in Dead Earth (Nerve Altar)
From: Brooklyn, NY
Genre: grind / hardcore
The inkblot:
Analysis:
I think this is going to be an easy one.
That's supposed to be Sisyphus?
[pause] Huh?
I like this one. It's reversed.
Yeah.
It feels like the generator got sick of that style, and it was like, What if we do this instead?
This is also the worst thing to see during an MRI.
It looks like you're maybe being abducted or something. It also makes me think of the Knights of the Round Table in the middle.
I think the image generator was very purposeful when it made this.
Is it some sort of medieval reference?
I don't want to lead you in a specific direction, but it's definitely a symbol.
Like toxic waste or something? Like medical waste?
So, what do you want to call this one?
I kind of like Toxic Waste.
This band is called Radiation Blackbody, and the album is titled Dead Seed Planted in Dead Earth.
Oh, that's so sad.
What it actually is: We're at the point of this list where I just want to publish it after it has spent an interminable amount of time moldering in my drafts.2 To that end, here's what I wrote about this album previously:
Radiation Blackbody's newest album is like if a record label asked Nomeansno to make The Process of Weeding Out and only the Wright brothers showed up. This is profoundly satisfying nerd stuff for anyone who has logged time in a rhythm section. And, as you'd expected, this bass/drum duo is all about unceasing propulsion. That said, it's not just a blur. These two members who have been in Defeatist and Anodyne still find the time to pull off all kinds of intricate tricky stuff you can train a microscope on, such as the all-over-the-drumkit fills of "Synaptic Palimpsest." Fast. Complex. Rules.
71. Owlbear - Chaos to the Realm (Alone Records)
From: Boston, MA
Genre: heavy metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
Here's our next one.
Ooo, I like this one. This kind of looks like an owl in the middle.
That's well-observed.
Also, maybe it's because it's my cat's nickname, but it looks like an owl panther.
You don't see it immediately, but there's a little skeleton dude down here doing the same pose that every dude on dating apps does when they're at the gym in front of a mirror.
It definitely looks like a little skeleton dude. Maybe with even a little black hood.
I like where you're going with the owl. Do you have a guess for the band name?
It looks like it's like a murderous owl. I guess they are predators, but it seems haunted.
Haunted Owl. Final answer.
I think so.
The band is named Owlbear.
Okay. I was close with "panther."
And the album title is Chaos to the Realm.
Chaos.
What it actually is: People, we now have the proper soundtrack to Baldur's Gate 3. Owlbear's debut full-length rolls a natural 20 for absurdly catchy heavy metal hooks, bursting through your speakers like the owlbear on its cover. "Fiend of Fire," with its hard-charging riffs and soaring chorus, has been stuck in my head since I heard it. But all of these 10 tracks are absolute mind-flayers, taking the initiative with anthemic trad and emphatic solos. And can we talk about Yannis "Rubus" Rubulias' album art for a second? RIP to whatever poor caster in that party has to rip up their character sheet.
70. Dripped - Rituals of the Red Sun (Ungodly Ruins Productions)
From: Perth, Australia
Genre: brutal death metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
Alright. This one.
Creepy.
What does it bring up for you?
It looks like a kaleidoscope. It also looks like a circle of schoolchildren or something.
Interesting.
Really creepy children, to be fair.
Yeah, or just "children," as I call them.
They could be holding hands and dancing in a circle around this creepy orb thing.
If you show this to somebody in a psychological setting, you're feeling like you're leading them towards something, right?
Potentially. Do they seem paranoid? Although, with this image, I feel that's a reasonable response.
Would you ever say, "What image do you see? Because I just see a blank piece of paper"?
Oh, no. [laughs] Just pretend there's nothing on there.
"Interesting. It's interesting that you see that."
When you're assessing psychosis, you ask questions. "Do you see things other people don't see?" And it's like, how is anyone supposed to know that?
That'd be such a tough question for a philosopher to answer.
Some people who have psychosis will have a pet. If the owner sees something and they're not sure if it's real, they'll look to see if their pet is reacting.
Suddenly, I've become more aware of my old cat lady tendencies. Perhaps this is why I have so many animals around. I'm learning a lot about myself.
Good, good. I'm sure Rorschach would be thrilled.
Do you have any guesses for the band's name?
So, I know you're trying not to lead, but I wonder if the orb has something to do with it. It's some sort of...space coalition.
Space Coalition - Into the Orb.
What it actually is: I appreciate Dripped's commitment to speed. Even when it slams and chugs, it's at a pace that would make many BDMers' arms fall off. Still, this ain't Origin. Tech? Nah, it's just something that will wreck your neck. Rituals of the Red Sun is nasty, vicious, and plain mean, like a red-assed Neanderthal with a wicked fastball. Prehistoric baseball analogy? Sure. That's what you come here for.
69. Homeskin - End’s Daze Without Organs (Fiadh Productions) / Memorrhage - Memorrhage (Big Money Cybergrind)
From: Dallas, TX
Genre: black metal / nu metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
This is our first inkblot generated from two different bands and albums.
Cute. It's like a Double Jeopardy! This one seems to have crescent shapes — dolphins.
The thing I see most immediately is this little mouse dude flying an airplane.
He's very focused.
He's done his 10,000 hours in the sky. We're in good hands here. This is the Sully of mouse pilots.
And he has got some walnuts in his cheeks.
When you're doing that transatlantic flight, you need sustenance.
Ratatouille in the sky.
Can we pitch Ratatouille in the Sky, please? Ratatouille was previously controlling a pilot in the Air Force, conducting horrible bombing raids, and is haunted by it every single day. Years later, he accidentally scurries onto a commercial flight. The plane is going to crash. Ratatouille then, fighting off his PTSD, ratatouilles the pilot. Who's not buying this? I think we got something here.
Studios will only say no if they hate fun.
You won't get both band names on this one, but based on what you've seen, what do you think?
Well, now I'm only thinking of Ratatouille in the Sky.
Sorry.
It feels ethereal. It's hard not to consider the colors. It's a bubbly castle.
Bubbly Castle. Great dungeon synth band name.
What it actually is: Memorrhage, the nu metal solo band of the frequently blurbed Garry Brents, does a throwback the right way. This is notable. After all, as Holiday Kirk, the architect of the Nu Metal Agenda and Crazy Ass Moments In Nu Metal History, has often said, nostalgia is a dead end. The big worry during the burgeoning nu metal renaissance is that nostalgia will only take the style so far because the past has an extremely short half-life in the present. That is to say, even though fresh nu metal fans can reap the benefits of streaming services carrying most of the style's recorded history, allowing them to reconstruct a timeline where no bad nu metal exists, there still has to be nowadays nu with its own point of view if the genre will prosper this decade. Anyway, I think that's why projects like Memorrhage and like-minded outfits such as Cheem, Vein.fm, Зло, and Marion have excelled. They're not using nu metal as a meme schematic or old-timey reenactment but as a jumping-off point. These creative artists have realized that nu metal isn't a stylistic restriction but another shade of paint on their palette. So, you get Memorrhage fusing Spineshank and Slipknot with, like, Nasum's "Shadows" and lightly skramzified aggro outfits a la Phoenix Bodies. In other words, it has the hallmarks of nu — the wikki wikki turntablism, jumpdafuckup bounce riffs, keening near-ballads — but the conglomeration of previously disparate sounds is new. It's not a throwback so much as it's a throwforward.
As for Homeskin, what a way to go out. Brents's final release for this "daytime counterpart to Gonemage," his 17th in 15 months, is everything that made the project unique, jumping around genres while maintaining an overall coherency. Hopefully, this finale also inspires someone to continue the "Codeseven but black metal" concept explored during the album's middle.
68. Molested Divinity - Modern Addictions (New Standard Elite)
From: Ankara, Türkiye
Genre: brutal death metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
We're going back to the bugs.
I'm seeing the bugs, too. There's a little beetle in the bottom, middle.
I see bugs. I see demons. I see dragons.
I was just thinking that. There's also a little fountain at the top.
It's like concept art for the next Dark Souls game.
It's kind of cool. I like that it fades away and the edges.
Again, Bing has no idea what an inkblot actually looks like or its purpose. If you were showing these to somebody, you would spend the next half hour saying, "This is cool. This one's sick."
Can you guess the band's name?
I feel like it's sort of evocative of a headless horseman, but they're dragons, and I don't see the rider.
OK, so Headless Horsemen - Ghost Riding the Dragon. Got it.
What it actually is: The last time we saw Molested Divinity around these parts, the brutal death metal crusher was fronted by Cenotaph/Drain of Impurity's Batu Çetin. Now, the trio's gurgler is Erkin Öztürk of Meshum and Rektal Tuşe and formerly of Cenotaph. That wasn't the only trade. Yep, we got action in the drum department. Out: Decimation's Berk Köktürk. In: Cédric Malebolgia of Putridity. You'll have to trust me when I say that's a lot of BDM star power trading spaces.
Lone-standing OG Emre Üren has cooked up some delectable riffs that race, rage, and rip. Think Malignancy at its speediest and it's receiving directions from Iniquitous Deeds. With the addition of Öztürk's roar, which has only gotten growlier since Meshum, and Malebolgia's hyperspeed blasts and stank-face-inciting grooves, The Primordial makes a hell of a noise when Molested Divinity is going all out. It's multi-dimensional degeneracy. I'd point you toward an example, but it turns out that applies to the entire album.
67. Dyoxidon - The Decaying Multiverse (self-released)
From: Colorado, USA
Genre: industrial / black metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
This must have been made on a Friday. Everyone's bored and wanting to go home so they cooked up the craziest ideas because no one will do anything about it until Monday.
It looks like a night sky, but it's also almost like a reflection on water.
Definitely feel like this is something the Hubble telescope would pick up.
It also looks like an eye.
Interesting.
It's mesmerizing staring right at the center.
You have these lake scenes on either side.
Yeah, that's what I was looking at.
It's a lake after a forest fire. Some horrible, decrepit swamp.
There are a lot of different scenes happening, kind of like a travel log. This is what I did on my summer vacation.
What do you think the band name is with this one?
I don't know. Creepy Slumberland?
[laughs] Creepy Slumberland. I mean, you've got some bangers so far.
What it actually is: What even is this? Tagged as an industrial black metal nightmare, The Decaying Multiverse is even more horrific than expected. M_psymorgh's solo project is like The Axis of Perdition In Space, except with far more layers. Indeed, Dyoxidon goes deep. At times there's so much going on, it's like hearing the screams of each individual soul as two highly populated planets collide. Hypnotic in its own way, but remember that I find harsh noise relaxing.
66. Nostril Caverns - Implanted Perceptions (self-released)
From: Milton, Canada
Genre: grindcore
The inkblot:
Analysis:
I think you'll see something right off the bat.
Oh, yeah. It's a skull with horns and maybe gills. The bottom depicts some sort of water, like a wave crashing.
Not to bring us back to the mermaid theme, but this is definitely Ursula from The Little Mermaid if you did ayahuasca, right?
Absolutely.
Is this how we scare people into protecting coral reefs? This is what's lurking under there.
The ocean is largely unexplored.
Yes. Stop dumping stuff in the ocean. This is what's going to come get us.
This is what happens when you pollute. It's like the smoke monster in Ferngully.
As disturbing as this is, I like that the face expresses, "Hey, what's up? It's good seeing you. Thanks for the invite."
That's Ursula, too. She's demonized but just wants love.
Go hog-wild with the potential band name. I'll warn you: You're not going to get close.
We already had Helms Deep. I feel like this is some sort of deep ocean thing. Deep Sea Demonic Possession?
Are you sure you don't listen to metal?
Maybe in a past life.
This band is named Nostril Caverns, and the album is titled Implanted Perceptions.
Are they implanting perceptions through the nostrils? I have follow-up questions.
I'll pass along your questions to the band.
What it actually is: Forty-eight highly technical death metal miniatures, each clocking in at 40 seconds. And yet, Chris Balch's music washes over you. It's like ambient music for a supercomputer obsessed with attaining the grind ethos that Takafumi Matsubara lives by. Also, this blurb is 48 words. It had to be.
65. Vomi Noir - L'Innommable Remugle et la Mélopée Cavernuleuse des Râles Agoniques (Bones Brigade Records/Bringer of Gore Records)
From: Toulouse, Frane
Genre: goregrind
The inkblot:
Analysis:
Good colors on this one.
I agree. I love this color scheme. This one is making me think of a disco vampire.
Disco Vampire. Obviously a character from a lost exploitation film from the '70s.
A Disco Vampire movie title... What would it be? Like Sunshine Abuse or something?
Sunshine Abuse. You'll have to keep that one for the band name or the album title.
Yeah.
The movie title I'd pitch starring Disco Vampire — a late-night sensation who was obviously a frequent guest on the Johnny Carson — would be...hear me out...Bela Lu-Get Down Tonight.
That could also be a drag name.
Not my finest work, but we all have our talents. Yours are naming metal bands. Mine are coming up with drag names.
It's a Venn diagram.
Sure. The crossover is two people and they're in the Zoom right now.
What it actually is: Braindead Zine was responsible for molding my taste in goo, so it makes sense that I absolutely adore this trio, which includes Braindead editor Pierre. L'Innommable Remugle et la Mélopée Cavernuleuse des Râles Agoniques is one of the most riff-focused of the goregrind albums of the year, falling somewhere between early Carcass and later Dead Infection. That bit of bounce in the groove puts it over the top. Rips.
64. Shitstorm - Only in Dade (ALT MIA/Malokul)
From: Miami, FL
Genre: grind
The inkblot:
Analysis:
Don't know where Bing was going with this one, but it felt something and needed to share it.
It went rogue.
This is like when you ask somebody a question and then they tell you another story because they've been practicing that one in the car.
At first, I saw the two white spots. They looked like eyes. But right under them, there are these things that look even more like eyes. You know how some butterflies have fake eyes?
Decoys.
Yeah. And then under that is a little alien? No. Angels. [laughing] My Jewish brain trying to come up with the word "angels."
I mean, we've all seen biblically accurate angels.
Exactly. It has a thousand eyes.
There's your band name: Biblically Accurate Angels.
And then Hidden Eyes as the title.
Man, that sounds like an '80s synth pop record.
What it actually is: I can't believe this band is still going. Miami-style grind, baby. 27 tracks, with the longest clocking in at 55 seconds, nearly double the next longest track. This is pell-mell mayhem that focuses on the core in grindcore. Think Infest if it lived in the same trash pile as Tyranny of Shaw. The trio, which expands into a quartet for live dates, doesn't have time for anything that isn't an onslaught. Only in Dade is only wall-to-wall blasts. Anyway, for newbies who have yet to get destroyed by these Floridian denizens, you probably know Rick Smith and Jonathan Nuñez from Torche. Same kind of crush, different kind of experience.
63. Cadavoracity - Cadavoracity (Earsturbation Records) / Cystgurgle - Exquisite Macerated Tissue Slippage and Full-Body Degloving Under Extreme Circumstances of Accelerated Putrefaction (self-released) / Smallpox Aroma - Festering Embryos of Logical Corruption (Inhuman Assault)
From: West Java, Indonesia / Bangkok, Thailand
Genre: brutal death metal / goregrind / grind
The inkblot:
Analysis:
This one was generated off of not one, not two, but three different bands.
Bing got simplistic after all that.
It must've been tuckered out from the last one.
Well, it's interesting that you included three different things, and it was like, I'm going to go minimalist. It looks like a heart in the middle, but then there's a beetle above it.
One of those rhinoceros beetles.
The things on the top look like bones, but I don't know what bones would be shaped that way unless it's like a scorpion or something.
The scorpion, an animal famous for its bones.
[laughs] I think I learned how to spell exoskeleton but not what it means.
So I don't know if Bing is trying to tell me something about a possible infestation in my house, which is worrying, or if Bing is just hyper-focused on bugs. Maybe my queries crossed streams with somebody else's. I wanted inkblots; they wanted bugs.
"We can kill two birds."
It's like moons, a constellation of moons, but it's the Bug Nebula.
There's definitely an alien bugginess to it.
You'll laugh pretty hard when you hear the band names, but do you want a shot at a band name based on this inkblot?
I will say Albino Scorpion.
The first band is Cadavoracity. The second band is Cysturgle. The third band is Smallpox Aroma.
Huh. I wasn't getting a medical vibe.
No, not with the Bug Nebula.
What it actually is: What unites these records is Polwach Beokhaimook. Here are two past blurbs:
In 2020, Cadavoracity, a band I've come to think of as Indonesia's Brodequin, upped its brutality with the addition of drummer Polwach Beokhaimook. The Thai multi-instrumentalist has been in these pages often for his contributions to Biomorphic Engulfment, Cystgurgle, Ecchymosis, Smallpox Aroma, Theurgy, and Urged. That list only represents 32 percent of his current active exploits. No sleep 'til slams; truly our kind of sicko. That's not to say the other Cadavoracity members are slouching. Bassist/guitarist Januaryo Hardy is also in a ton of bands and has probably mixed and mastered one of your favorite BDMers. Anyway, like Beokhaimook's Ecchymosis, when Cadavoracity is moving, it feels unstoppable. It's the Earl Campbell of gooey death metal, stiff-arming you with blasts, chugs, or squiggly anti-leads.
Despite Cystgurgle staking its claim as one of the new ping kings, doling out the cymbal-inflicted tinnitus better than most, this album actually sports a sound that may not scare away the goo-averse. The production is excellent, with an atypical separation between instruments. That said, don't email me when your significant other dumps you if you try to play them this. Remember, my mind has been thoroughly obliterated by brutal death metal.
62. Malokarpatan - Vertumnus Caesar (Invictus Productions)
From: Slovakia
Genre: black metal / heavy metal
The inkblot:
Analysis:
This one is infuriatingly low effort.
I mean, it's just a straight skeleton — a creepy one. It looks like there's a fire right in the middle, too. I think it's hard to paint those colors, so it really nails the light over the dark.
I'm disappointed that it's just like a plain Jane skull in the middle, but what's going on with this thing sitting down here? Is it a frog wearing a ceremonial headdress or something?
He's hanging out. Is it holding two black voids?
Two black pompoms, cheering on the void.
Chilling on the void. That sounds like a band name or album.
Great post-punk band.
Then there's a little red butterfly right at the top, in the middle.
AI is obsessed with butterflies.
It makes sense because butterflies are easy to depict if you're making an inkblot by folding paper.
It's cool that this one's ink is dripping off. The skull kind of has a beard. It's at least a detailed skull.
I totally missed the beard.
And then the red thing on the top. It's like a unicorn squirrel.
I got to say, if I were an archaeologist or a paleontologist and I dug up a skull and it still had a beard, I would be like, Fuck no. We are getting out of here immediately.
Vikings. Even after the blood eagle, they're still bearded.
I think you're getting somewhere with beards here. Take a guess of the band name.
I'm thinking Fiery Beards.
What it actually is: First off, shout out to Malokarpatan for asserting it's not fascist in a Bardo interview of all places. That's like me asking for directions to a bar at a straight edge show. Anyway, this quartet keeps doing its quirky Maniac Butcher but Manowar thing on its fourth album. However, Vertumnus Caesar seems particularly well-honed. There are more hooks per second present than on Malokarpatan's other albums, making Vertumnus Caesar the obvious first step on your outsider Slovakian black metal journey.
61. Closet Witch - Chiaroscuro (Zegema Beach Records/Moment of Collapse Records/Circus of the Macabre Records)
From: Iowa, USA
Genre: grind / screamo
The inkblot:
Analysis:
This is our last one. This is so overboard.
Wow. That's a nice note to end on. A lot is happening. It reminds me of the Japanese paintings with the wave.
It also has that reflection on water, sort of top and bottom. It looks like an alien warrior goddess.
Yeah.
I like the bottom.
For some reason, the colors remind me of a koi pond.
It has that skull in the middle, but it's also more of an animal skull.
Everything that Bing has generated so far interests me because it has symmetry. It preserved the symmetry most of the time. But again, this is sensory overload. It's like you're trying to make somebody's brain explode Scanners style. How do you show a patient this? "What does this one make you feel like?" "I don't know, Doc. Do we have a couple of hours for me to unpack my feelings about this one?"
This one has more world-building.
Right. If you were showing a patient inkblots, would you ever feel the inclination or the need to sneak in a Magic Eye poster? Mix it up, and see what happens?
It would be hard for me not to blurt out what I see, and it's not about that.
"It's a sailboat. It's a sailboat. You moron."
I'm giving the test and I'm trying to get an A.
[laughs] It's like when people go on job interviews, and the interviewer starts interviewing themselves for their own position.
Do you have an idea for the band name on this one? I think you'll love this band name, given all the band names we've talked about so far.
[deadpans] Yay. It seems like a midsummer jaunt.
Midsummer Jaunt. That's some good folk metal.
OK. The band is named Closet Witch.
Ooo.
Yeah. I like how evocative that is.
It does have a witchy atmosphere. I wonder how Bing interpreted the closet part.
I think it gave up. "Ugh, what are we even doing here? Shut me down."
Questioning its existence.
It's just returning screenshots of screensavers. "Leave me alone. Here are some pipes."
What it actually is: There were signs that Chiaroscuro was going to be good. In 2021, Closet Witch released Mellification, a two-song EP of cutting room floor material that couldn't fit onto the quartet's forthcoming LP. Upon release of that LP, Closet Witch demonstrated why those two great songs might've gotten squeezed out. Chiaroscuro is a speedy ass-kicker. If we condense the spectrum of fast, grindy music down to the Orchid/Pig Destroyer split and use that as a line of demarcation, Closet Witch's skramziness places it more on the Orchid side. That doesn't mean the Iowan quartet won't crush metalheads with its heaviness, though. When Chiaroscuro is at full force, it sounds like a skid mark-inciting thunderstorm. Check the swirling mayhem of "Haunting" as Alex Crist's guitar and Cory Peak's bass form this unholy hum of rumbling amplifier destruction. The other elements are as essential. Royce Kurth's drums cut through the tumult. Mollie Piatetsky screams with a ferocious desperation that makes me want to run through a brick wall. Catharsis incarnate.
So, Emily Frank, how do you feel about the AI-generated inkblots?
[deadpans] It's an exciting new chapter in technology.
Are we going to get a chapter on this in the DSM?
I wonder if we'll eventually have a list of mental health diagnoses for AI.
These inkblots will be how you spot them in the wild.
Is your robot depressed? These inkblots might provide clues.
For everybody reading this, I'm sorry that your Google Chrome browser is now crying about its father going out for cigarettes and never returning.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
OK. We're going to speedrun the remainder of the EOY list in the next few edition so I can start clearing the backlog of other stuff. I have two or three interviews in the pipeline.
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This gets funnier the more I look at it. It's June. Of 2024. (I’ve changed this month three times.) Anyway, if you're curious, I had some health issues that delayed this. They're boring. Not worth getting into. I'll go into them a little deeper on a Wolf's Week if you care.
This is pretty much when I gave up. Expect some reformatted old blurbs for the rest of the newsletter.