Glossary art by Stephen Wilson, Mike Teal, and Michael Wuensch. The Glossary debuted in the December 2019 edition of Stereogum's The Black Market. This is a living document and will be updated accordingly.
Aaron Effect
CREDIT: Stephen Wilson
Origin: Lariviered
1. the time-flattening effect that occurs when binge listening to an artist/band’s entire discography in one sitting.
Example:
“The Aaron Effect transforms Cannibal Corpse’s Gallery Of Suicide into a minor classic.”
2. when a binge has the unintended consequence of rewiring your brain.
Example:
“Agathocles’s Aaron Effect has borked my head meat. Music is pain. Nothing is real. Hold something over my face until I stop moving.”
Blarghon
Origin: Ianean
a type of prose stylization adopted primarily by shadowy black metal entities or their PR arms to convincingly answer written interview questions while also not answering those questions at all
Example:
"FEAST OF BLOOD was completed quickly and effortlessly under the Blood Moon in MMXVI. We did not find the correct context for BAT MAGIC until much later. Our discovery of Vespertine Screech through rumors in our local scene helped realize BAT MAGIC through his abilities as a medium, communicant, and historian. It was through this new artistic union that we came to the realization that our story was larger than anticipated. Through his magick, the tales which fuel BAT MAGIC, as well as other Ordo Vampyr Orientis projects, find flesh through the sounds created by our collective."
Related terms:
hails, behold
Buttchug
CREDIT: Mike Teal
Origin: Lariviered
1. a juggawugga or big chungus riff that is so spartan and elemental in its chuggery that it can only be derived from the butt.
Example:
“But more than anything, it’s an album intro that turns into something else: a slow-burn buttchug of a riff punctuated with drum hits and absurd vocals that ratchets up the tension until it finally explodes into floorpunching crossover madness.”
2. a nothing riff, often associated with a redneck stomp.
“That Oppressor decided to forsake death metal for Soil’s yarling buttchugs is one of metal’s greater mysteries.”
Related term:
slamwich
Catfashed
Origin: Moorian
when a sketchy band successfully infiltrates mainstream coverage outlets by suppressing its sketchiness only to be unveiled later as mega sketchy
Example:
"It turns out that all-woman band from the Middle East is actually two fascist dorks from Germany. That interviewer really got catfashed on that one."
Related terms:
inquizzitioned, ass rar'd, sketchfest
Cloak Brain
CREDIT: Michael Wuensch
Origin: Moorian
describes metal musicians who buy too heavily into the mystical aspect of the music they’re making.
Example:
“Yeesh, this edgelord caught a case of the cloak brain after reading Céline and now has terminal but-the-riffs.”
Related terms:
in conspiracy with (PR slang), turd-ouroboros
Cosmosh
Origin: Ianean
a riff that is speckled with space dust, channeling a certain celestial energy as if capturing a transmission emanating from the stars
Example:
"Inanna’s 'Far Away In Other Spheres,' the latest stream off the Chilean band’s third album, Void Of Unending Depths, makes contact with many sounds. There’s some of that Sarpanitum/Artificial Brain/Afterbirth spaciness to it, or 'cosmosh' if you want to try and get that tag going."
Related term:
stardown, SETI slam
Float Metal
Origin: Moorian
a distinct variant of nothing music that takes the buoyancy of shoegaze's effects pedal predilections and uses it to no end, producing an anodyne vacuum that is atmospheric and nothing more
Example:
"Once you get past the swirling timbres, can this float metal band even play their instruments?"
Related terms:
nu-gaze, blackgaze
Goat Festival
CREDIT: Stephen Wilson
Origin: Moorian
collective noun for a group of war metal enthusiasts or those who unironically own decorative gas masks.
Example:
“I was about to pay cover, but I took a look inside and it was a total goat festival so I bailed.”
Related term:
Jawa-looking black metaller
Heavy Metal Feeling
Origin: Fenrizean
an ineffable metalness rooted in an artist or band's commitment to the inherent but unspoken tenets of heavy metal
Example:
"I know that Today is the Day is inexplicably absent from Encyclopaedia Metallum, but the assaultive misery of Sadness Will Prevail is still suffused in heavy metal feeling."
Related terms:
trvness, where is Body Count, castle credibility
Instagram Death Metal
CREDIT: Mike Teal
Origin: Moorian
nowadays old school death metal bands that are extremely online, especially those treating thoroughly pit-stained, hand-me-down death metal aesthetics as ironic/marketable peak experiences.
Example:
“Oh, you mean the Instagram death metal band that tried to sell me a limited edition, $20 beer koozie is the opener? Pass.”
Related term:
pizza metal
The Journey
Origin: Ianean
an extended bridge or coda that explores the themes of the songs in a meandering way that feels like a riff-based peregrination
Example:
"The Chasm's finest quality is The Journey, especially when its Odyssean progressions traipse into the realm of thrash."
Related terms:
into the unknown, where is this even going
Kill Riff
CREDIT: Michael Wuensch
Origin: Lariviered
the finisher of riffs, one that goes above and beyond to destroy the listener. Never a buttchug, but may be the crescendo in a series of juggawuggas. Always the biggest of the chungus riffs. Some slams are kill riffs, but not all kill riffs are slams.
Example:
“Hi, Mrs. Lariviere? We took your husband into custody because he kept yelling ‘kill riffs.’ Yes, ma’am. Yes. He has been listening to a lot of Cannibal Corpse.”
Legendary Demo
CREDIT: Stephen Wilson
Origin: Moorian
a PR term of art denoting a little-heard demo released 10 or more years before the creators inevitably reformed for the festival circuit and/or reissued their back catalog. Actual legends are rarely recounted to substantiate the descriptor. Also highly likely that the number of vest patches in the wild is higher than the band’s Spotify playcount.
Example:
“This legendary demo includes three exclusive bonus tracks that are each members’ authentic answering machine messages, one of which we’re premiering today! Catch lone original member Jim Donkus and three hired guns at Wisconsin Butt Fest next month. Full tour dates below.”
Related term:
dad metal
Magically Shitty
CREDIT: Mike Teal
A note from the artist: “Observing and appreciating the ‘magically shitty’ requires not just an ear for the musical performance but appreciating its visual presentation with the execution of tactfully shitty design decisions.”
Origin: Lariviered
1. an element of a heavy metal song or album that would sound bad in similar contexts but, because of its shittiness, makes the song or album catchier.
Example:
“Holy heck, the AOR opening of Source’s ‘Hunger’ is so magically shitty! What even is that, an REO Speedwagon deep cut? I love it.”
2. a song or album that, in the process of trying to embody a heavy metal ideal, misses in a pleasingly weird way. In turn, thanks to the artist’s unique heavy metal character and the transformative power of heavy metal feeling, the weirdness winds up making the song or album equally as metal, if not more so, than if the artist achieved that end in a more traditionally good way.
Example:
“Crurifragium sounds like three orcs and one drunk bear fighting over a nail gun in a pressboard factory. What a magically shitty mess.”
Metal Law
CREDIT: Mike Teal
Origin: The Book Of Metal Law, of unknown ancient origins
this is part 3 of a 10,000-part series discussing Metal Law, set to the music of German heavy metal heroes Metal Law. Rule Number Three! The law will set you free! (*lightning strike*)
Example:
“Metal Law. Metal LAAAEEEAAAEEEAAEEAAAAAWWWWWWW! YEAOW! YEAOW YEAOW YEAOW!”
Nelson
CREDIT: Michael Wuensch
Origin: Nelsonian
1. the beloved former leader of the Black Market. We miss you, man.
Example:
“What is this crap? Bring back Nelson!”
2. verb Nelson’d: when you consistently experience bad luck with the music/artists you enjoy.
Example:
“I went on a blind date with Ian after reading his intros. He looks like a youth pastor that rolled under a fridge. I really got Nelson’d on that one.”
New School Duck-Walk Shit
CREDIT: Stephen Wilson
Origin: Azagthothian
1. a style of blasting prevalent in modern death metal.
Example:
“He does the single-foot upbeat blast instead of the new school duck-walk shit. I’m very happy to be working with Scotty Fuller. He is a super drummer.”
2. a derogatory description of the type of nowadays tech metal that verges on nothing music due to the way it recycles the tropes of multiple genres instead of attempting a personality.
Example:
“Oh cool, more sterile new school duck-walk shit that crash-lands into deathcore djent.”
Related terms:
do these people think songs fall out of the fucking sky?
Nothing Music
CREDIT: Mike Teal
Origin: Lariviered
lifeless music that prioritizes vibe and atmosphere over effective songwriting. Prevalent in late-stage symphonic black metal, gothic metal, and power metal.
Example:
“When hairlines recede, nothing music fills the void, forcing zombie follicles to sprout feeble wisps of buttchugs where lush hooks once grew.”
Related terms:
ponytail metal, Anathema
OOGH
CREDIT: Michael Wuensch
Origin: Warriorian
the most common and enduring metal vocal hit. Often traced back to Tom G. Warrior, although antecedents exist. Signals that either a sick riff is imminent or Hells Headbangers signed another Hellhammer clone.
Original usage: “OOGH!”
Example:
“The most famous example of the vocal hit is Tom G. Warrior’s iconic ‘OOGH!’, but he’s not the only metal vocalist with a distinctive vocal hit in his repertoire.”
Related terms:
Pose Exposed
CREDIT: Stephen Wilson
Origin: Moorian by way of Succumbian
Black Market-specific definition: whenever a cloak brain unintentionally breaks kayfabe, usually by displaying ignorance of a band/philosophy that’s a keystone within the dubious metal identity that they’re trying to erect.
Example:
“Hold up. Did any of these neckbeards actually read Nietzsche? Pose exposed!”
Spud
CREDIT: Mike Teal
Origin: Moorian
the shortened form of “potato death metal,” a term that describes a death metal band that is such a death metal band that it is the potato of death metal bands.
Original usage, traced back to the early Doug Days Of Metal Review: “Jungle Rot aren’t meat-and-potatoes death metal so much as they’re just the potato.”
Example:
“Profanal: a tasty spud. Not sure I’d take the class they’re teaching, though.”
Typography Metal
Origin: Moorian
a band that forgoes making interesting music and instead focuses its attention on the hollower scene trappings of self-consciously cool branding in order to corner a similarly hollow market of self-signaling doofuses
Example:
"Where are the riffs? It sounds like this band spent all of its time thinking about its album cover. Pure typography metal."
Related terms:
Instagram metal, merch metal, new-school old-school death metal
Wyatt Bleb
CREDIT: Michael Wuensch
Origin: Wyattonian
a sub-200-word Black Market blurb that is perfect, efficiently describing the music without resorting to punishing paragraph breaks. The only thing people actually read in the column.
Example:
“Forget a Wyatt bleb, I can’t even write my name without a 2,000-word digression on the origin of the folk melodies in “Black Winter Day.” Just look at this goddamn glossary.”